What do you do when your youngest daughter gets into the car one day after school and breaks down into a crying, sobbing mess? I don’t mean squeezing out a few tears I mean gut wrenching, body racking sobs.
This is what I did.
I held her for what seemed like an eternity until the sobbing subsided. Talking was impossible, I asked but she couldn’t answer. It was all I could do to hold back my own tears. My heart broke for this young, beautiful girl who seemed completely crushed.
Once she had managed to calm herself she let me know that she didn’t feel like talking at the moment, it hurt too much. All I could do was give her space to process things and let her know I was there when she needed me.
Without knowledge or disclosure it is difficult not to let your imagination run wild. She was due to be given her camping group and I thought perhaps she wasn’t happy with the cabin buddies she had been assigned although the reaction seemed a little extreme for this. Not getting exactly who she wanted in her cabin is not something that would generally faze Lulu. This would be such a small blimp on her radar that I am sure she would just shake it off and find the positive angle; in this case she was just super happy to be going camping at all. So back to the wild imagination.
Little by little over the rest of the evening the story came out and her reaction became, in my mind, completely justified. Her best friend in all the world had just told her with the help of two other girls that she didn’t like her personality and no longer wanted to be her friend. For Lulu those few cruel words sliced a line of devastation through her spirit.
These two friends were close; I remember the first time I took Lulu around for a play date, I could hear the frantic exclamations of “It’s Lulu! It’s Lulu!” from behind the door before it was flung open and Lulu was enveloped in a hug. They had a relationship you rarely see in two so young. I used to watch them play; there was never any judgment of the other, if one didn’t want play a particular game that was fine they would play different things. There wasn’t any fighting, the odd disagreement maybe but it was usually over very quickly. They supported each other, Lulu never stood for any unkind words or acts against her friend. Occasionally they each played with other people because they secure in their friendship and still individuals who needed more than just each other’s company. I remember explaining to Lulu how it was that two women could be married to each other. She said “Oh that’s so great, now I’m going to marry my best friend and then she can be part of our family.”
Lulu has moved on now, she has a new ‘best friend’ and although, to me looking in, it’s not the same she’s in a happy place again and that’s all that really matters to me. Her old ‘bestie’ is back talking and playing with her and Lulu being the person she is has accepted that without saying too much. When I asked her about it she said “Oh yeah, it’s O.K. Mum, I won’t be mean to her but I’m not going to let her hurt me again.”
Good for you Lulu!