My second born Rambo-disguised-as-Barbie is an untidy, sloth. There, I came right out and said it. Don’t get me wrong, of course I love that girl dearly but sometimes I think living in the twilight zone would be a walk in the park compared to this.
She’s seriously like some sort of human tornado, spewing stuff out of her vortex in all directions as she passes through. I only have to lose concentration for a few minutes and when I regain focus BAM! The house looks like an episode of Hoarders!
The other night I was feeling tired and frustrated and so the sight of Lulu’s stuff lying all over the place started me on ‘the road’. You mothers out there know the road I’m talking about, the road to nowhere, the road strewn with land mines that can only lead to dangerous shaky ground where all in the blast zone can sustain injury. Even with that certain knowledge it’s a road that you, in your current frame of mind, just can’t help yourself from taking.
“Lulu for the fifth time, can you please put your stuff away. I swear there will be no T.V. on Friday night if you can’t get on with it.”
“You always say that. You’re just being mean and horrible. You don’t care about me or Molly.”
“Right then, I’ll show you just how mean I can be. T.V. is BANNED and if you’re not careful it will be banned for Saturday night too!”
“I don’t care.”
And on it went, escalating and accelerating to dizzying speeds towards that blast zone until all involved are left in pieces. There are no winners on this road and it’s a lonely regretful ride.
Later that evening Lulu went off to bed as normal with a kiss and cuddle. The drama of a few hours ago gone but not forgotten, fumes from the blast still tainting the air.
Several hours later she woke up crying. When I went is she was in pain and had been for some time.
“Why didn’t you call me earlier?”
“I didn’t want to disturb you mummy.”
My heart broke. In stark contrast to earlier here was a little girl who was vulnerable and in pain and really needed me. I cuddled her until she was feeling better and could go off to sleep.
I would never wish pain on my daughters. Those moments though, when you are cuddling them and shielding them from whatever is hurting. They are precious.
All else before is forgotten and there is just you and your child. Thoughts and emotions are crystallised into one piece of knowledge. That you are the Mother of this child and you will do anything for them.